Bringing up Kids in Hong Kong

Guys, lets talk here. Won't violate the principles in DIY forum.

I don't really agree with WINDWSS, perhaps the situation in Malaysia is different from that in Hong Kong.

Today, I figured that our kids are too "fragile" here in Hong Kong. Their IQ MAY be higher than us but they all drop behind in AQ, EQ. Whenever they failed, they don't have the strength to gather themselves up. They lack intention to work hard and can't persists; giving up easily (including their lives).

Distractions / Attractions should not be used as an excuse in my opinion. I learned so many things mainly because I got distracted / attracted. I played all kinds of racket sports, soccer, volleyball, etc. I do aquatic planting, raises all kinds of tropical fishes and keep numerous pets in the past. I would say, mainly because I got distracted / attracted. Attraction is the force of learning.

Let me give an example. I learned computer programming because I got attracted by my classmate programs. Therefore, I asked him to teach me programming and then I write my own programs to play with. Kids today, they got attracted by computer games but 99 / 100 won't bother learning HOW to write those games. They just "enjoy" the products of others and don't bother to do / learn the so called "difficult" things.

Curiousity kills the cat and frankly speaking, I (as a cat) learned almost everything by my own motive --- I drive myself to learn. And from the time I know my name, I am still learning after these 4X years.

Parents in Hong Kong pushed their kids too hard to learn this and that; Piano is the best example. Painting, Calligraphy, Abacus arithmatics, English ... and the kids just got "turned off". They already got flooded with duties assigned by their parents and got no time to really dig up / out their own interest. Eventually, they don't do well in what their parents assigned them ('cos no driving force) and they got no time to realise their real talents and interest.

May be I am weird. But what do you expect from a CAT?

CAT

Dear WINDWSS,

This time I totally agree with you.

Something really funny happened today in our school. One of the boys were suspected of cheating during a test / exam. The boy admitted he did peek around his neighbour and confested. However, his father came and scolded the discipline teacher, the teacher in charge of the exam. etc, saying that they "accused his boy of doing something he didn't do".

You can imagine what will happen to the kid? Even he did something wrong, the parent will "stand up" for him. Then, next time he won't just peek, he will probably take the answer book away from his classmate.

This is one of many typical parents we have in Hong Kong today. They dare not educate their child right and spend minimum amount of time with them. Whenever their kids got into trouble, they "support" them, thinking that this is the way to show their concern.

Two days ago, another kid was accused of hitting and bullying his classmate. His mother keeps saying that his son is a good boy and won't do anything like that though the whole class of 3x boys testified.

I really don't know what happened to these parents. As you said, they gave their responsibilities of looking up their kids to their maids. Whenever there is trouble, they will come out and no matter what their kids did, they will say their kids do nothing wrong.

I agree with your approach. If my girl wants to start a fire, I will start one with her and let her know which is the proper way to do it. That is why we cook together and many believed that letting a 10 year old to do the cutting and the cooking is dangerous. Unfortunately, there are many trees to climb in Hong Kong ... ha..ha.. else I will climb with her as well. I think we did that once or twice in the past.

Well, you can always climb up your fruit trees ....  :

CAT

Dear alant,

I don't really get your meaning for the second half of the paragraph. I can understand the first part as it is pretty straight forward and most of the time right.

When the economy is prosperous, there are lots of decent jobs for graduates. Therefore, it is easy to come to the conclusion that those who can't find a good job will be the "leftovers" to take up teaching posts.

In poor economic conditions, even the gifted with have to look for a living and many "believed" that teaching post give good salary and the job is "easy" and "everybody can be a teacher". Teachers are BELIEVED to have "lots of holidays" and they can always "play around with kids" as they got supreme power at school.

I can't comment on others as this is not fair. I planned to be a teacher when I was in secondary. I always wanted to be a teacher because ALL the teachers around me are good. Although we do not talk very often, yet they are always there to offer help when needed.

I studied in a Catholic school as well and the Fathers were very nice to all of us. I thank God for them and really appreciate their work. Though many of them passed away but I still recall their faces and their teachings in life.

Today, different people got different reasons to be a teacher. As I said, many "believed" that teachers got soft jobs and lives are easy for us. This should be true 20 years ago when I first join the force as the students were well behaved and the parents were very reasonable as well. Today, if you have an enemy, I would suggest you to persuade him joining our force .... it will be a good revenge for you.

Today, I find myself exhausted not because of teaching but because of stupid beliefs. Beliefs like we have lots of documents ready = good teaching and planning. We have lots of documents "made up" = our students will benefit from it. Reports, proposals, evaluations, etc. are all eating up our valuable time. We become impatent when students approach us because on our desks we still have so many paper work to do. And there are still people out there thinking that having as much homework as possible = good teaching and students will be better off. Thus implies teachers giving less homework = lazy teacher not performing their duties.

As you said Alan, there are good teachers and bad teachers. Honestly, deep in the hearts of the students, they know who treats them well and is doing an honest job as a teacher. Unfortunately to say, the world today is so complicated. There are not just good / bad teachers but they are also good / bad students and unreasonable and unrespectful parents. Sometimes, it is no longer easy to tell who is right and who is wrong. Only God judges according to peoples' hearts.

CAT

Dear WINDWSS,

I agree with your approach. IF the boys admitted he did cheat, I think it is not right for us to disgrace him. Instead, I think it is better to check WHY he cheated. I recall I saw one top boy cheated once in exam., he admitted and said he can't stand the pressure of being poor in exam. He was very sick the day before and couldn't concentrate on his studies and can't find a way out. He was F.2 by then.

The situation in Hong Kong today is, even the boy admitted and we didn't exactly punished him, his parents will come and say we "frame" his boy. We have parents yelling at us saying that it is not possible for his boy to cheat and we have no SOLID proofs. Ended up the parent demanding us to apologize. How do you deal with that? Have a feel of what possibilities we are facing today.

I believe that a tough situation produces fruits that lasts (if they survived). The kids in Hong Kong now are too spoiled. Parents know about this but they just keep on doing this. They always think that they stand on their kids side no matter what = love them and support them. This is their way to make up for not being with their kids most of the time. So what do we have? Kids can't tell right from wrong. There is nothing wrong downloading pirated movies, music ... everybody is doing this. There is nothing wrong to cheat, just don't get caught. Even if you got caught, don't admit it. And more importantly, they don't even know how to cheat. For the last two years, we saw students handing in "photocopied" worksheets, thinking that the teacher can't tell. Some are so stupid that they photocopied the exercise first and then write over it again, trying to cover up the toner.

I just wish we can have more time with our students and they would listen to us. Today, the gap between students and teachers are getting wider. This may be my personal feeling ... as I get old ....

alant,

One thing I really like about our Fathers (Jesuit Priests) was that they are so serious about their teachings, their discipline and their willingness to tell you how wonderful God is. I admire them as they can devote their whole lives to God and education and have this faith that they are doing this to help the next generation and please God.

Today, teachers like me face lots of challenges. Boys are naughty (take for granted) but we still need to love them. Tempted by earthly fresh, we tend to put ourselves in first priority. Not to mention with a family to feed and look after, sometimes I feel exhausted. Once in a while I will ask myself this question, do I still have the strength to stay here? Many senior students asked me why don't I join those tutorial schools. They give good money and less administrative work. I have this feeling that teacher and student relationship there are more like agent and client. I like to see my boys grow up ... this is something I don't think I can find out there.

I am far from being a perfect teacher but I always wanted to do better. I am not a workaholic but I won't be lazy. I just hope to see more good teachers coming into the field in the future.

CAT

Dear alant,

The students are more or less the same ... as I have said, they are expected to LEARN here. They are not perfect.

However, no matter what kind of school (or banding) you are in, you have to face so many documentation work these days. The admin part is killing the teacher. Not to mention the quick changing paste of the system.

I recall when I was in the school of education, professors from all over the whole agreed that just ONE minor change in the education system needs around 10 years. Look at what we have now ..... we have > 5 major changes in less than 10 years time.

I don't know why so many people admire the western system. Frankly, when I was in N. America, the high school is a mess. Uncountable drop outs, every day the Fire Ball rings at least once ... drugs, smoking, foul language, someone even starts a fire inside the school hall .... If their education system is THAT good, I don't think they should have these problems.

Don't have the impression that students in Band 1 school are less troublesome; they have other matters that we need to deal with. Students in band 2 - 3 schools are not equivalent to trouble makers as well.

CAT

Dear Cheapie,

I agree with you. I don't think any particular system is better. The system is indeed just a pre-set system, it can't cater for everybody's need as we are all different. However, our children should always be our responsibility, no matter whether we bring them to this world intentionally or un-intentionally.

Today, I see so many parents just focusing on their own affairs; work, leisure .... and they have all kinds of excuses for that. Whenever their kids got into trouble, they "stand" behind their kids saying that their kids did nothing wrong and it is other students or even the school who framed his son ...

I told my superiors, we don't need to interview the boy who wants to get into our school. It is better off interviewing their parents!

CAT

Dear alant,

Although I don't exactly know what happened to you but from what you've typed, it looks very familiar to me.

I think 天下烏鴉一樣黑, no matter where we live or work, things like this will always happen.

Just take things easy, clouds will clear one day and we can see the sun shining again.

I don't think I can help you much for the time being. As a Christian, I can always pray for you and your son. This is what we treasure. :wink:

CAT